


Easier

by flowerfan



Series: Glee Season 2 Reaction Fics [4]
Category: Glee
Genre: 2x14 reaction fic, Homophobia, M/M, Sexuality, blame it on the alcohol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-15
Updated: 2014-06-15
Packaged: 2018-02-04 18:47:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1789369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowerfan/pseuds/flowerfan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>2x14 reaction fic; part of a series of Season 2 reaction fics.  Kurt and Blaine talk after Rachel kisses Blaine in the Lima Bean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Easier

When Blaine came out of the restroom at the Lima Bean, Kurt was waiting for him with a cup of coffee. "I've got an extra medium drip here if you're interested,” Kurt said calmly, catching Blaine’s eye before he went to get in line.

"Thanks." Blaine came over to Kurt’s table, tucked his coat over the back of a chair, and sat down. He picked up the coffee and took a careful sip. "You saw all that, huh?" 

Kurt nodded. “I did.” He could hardly believe that Rachel had the guts to just walk right up and kiss Blaine in the middle of the Lima Bean, but she did, and frankly he couldn't be more pleased with the outcome. But Blaine was looking a little shaky.

"I suppose you're dying to say you told me so," Blaine said flatly, his gaze firmly fixed on his coffee cup.

Kurt flashed back to the imaginary conversation he had last night with Blaine in his head, where a repentant Blaine apologized for putting Kurt through such stress, and confessed that his dalliance with Rachel only served to reveal that Kurt was his one true love. And then the hour he spent feeling like a complete lout for somehow being unwilling to realize that whatever Blaine was going through wasn't actually about Kurt, except to the extent that as Blaine's friend, he perhaps ought to be supportive. The dialogue got so elaborate at one point that it featured an appearance by his dad (still imaginary, of course) saying "Kid, are you sure the reason you’re so invested in Blaine being gay is so that he’ll go out with you?"

Kurt poked at Blaine's foot under the table until he looked up at him. "No, I'm not going to say ‘I told you so,’ or any such thing. I am going to apologize, however."

"For what?" Blaine asked. "You were right. I'm gay. Totally gay. I don’t know what I was doing. The thing with Rachel was just..."

Kurt watched as Blaine, uncharacteristically, struggled to get his words out. "You weren't trying to pretend to be normal, and I was wrong for suggesting that you were. You were just trying to figure things out, and I reacted badly. I'm sorry."

Blaine shrugged. "Thanks, I guess. I was just really caught by surprise, you know? You've always been so level headed about things." He paused, and gave Kurt a quizzical look. "You don't really think there's no such thing as bisexuality, do you?"

Kurt had hoped maybe Blaine had forgotten about that part of their spat. "Not my finest moment," he admitted. 

Blaine shifted in his seat, putting his elbows on the table and leaning closer to Kurt. "Is there something else going on, maybe, that got you so mad? You can tell me, you know." His face had morphed into that earnest expression Blaine adopted when he wanted to counsel Kurt. Kurt found it endlessly endearing, regardless of the quality of the advice. But this question veered into dangerous waters.

"Something else? Like what?" Kurt took a sip of his coffee, hoping his face didn't scream out "duh, you are _my_ dreamy almost-boyfriend, not Rachel Berry’s, and don’t you forget it."

"Like maybe you have feelings for Rachel, and so you were upset that she asked me out?"

Kurt nearly choked on his drink, sputtering and wheezing as Blaine quickly stood up and patted him on the back. "Oh my god, Blaine," he said when he could breathe again, "has anyone ever tried to sell you a bridge? You are the most oblivious creature on the planet."

Blaine sat back down, looking clueless. "So that's a no?"

"Of course it's a no, you idiot." Kurt sighed. "Really, Blaine, are you actually telling me you don't know why I'd be disappointed if you weren't gay? Because if so, I think we've moved away from _When Harry Met Sally_ territory."

Blaine's eyes grew wide as he gazed at Kurt, and then he blushed. "Oh. Right." He plunked his forehead down on the table and covered his head with his hands. "I am an idiot. Why do you even hang out with me?" He tilted his head and looked over at Kurt through his fingers.

"Apparently I still think you have potential," Kurt said wryly. Just then a group of Dalton students came in to the coffee shop, bringing a burst of cold air with them. Blaine quickly sat up when they entered, but instead of looking pleased to see them, Blaine's face closed up and his shoulders tensed. Kurt thought that maybe this conversation wasn't over.

"Hey, no one’s home at my house until after dinner. Want to come over and watch a movie, keep me company?"

Later that afternoon, seated on the couch with a bowl of popcorn between them, Kurt realized that Blaine wasn't watching the movie at all. He debated just keeping his mouth shut, but it really wasn't his way. And besides, _The Kids Are All Right_ was a decent movie, but it wasn't that good, and if Blaine wasn't going to pay attention, they might as well be watching _The Devil Wears Prada_ again.

"I really love Tina Fey in this, don't you?" Kurt asked, looking at Blaine out of the corner of his eye.

"Yeah, she's awesome," Blaine said, rolling a kernel of unpopped popcorn between his fingers.

Kurt grabbed the remote and muted the television. "Blaine, Tina Fey's not in this movie." 

Blaine looked up at him and blinked. "Oh." He rubbed his face. "Yeah. I’m sorry, I’m not…. Maybe I should go," he said, standing up.

"No, don't go. Not unless you really want to." Kurt grabbed Blaine's sleeve and tugged until he sat back down. "Why don't you tell me what's wrong?"

Blaine turned to face Kurt, and took a minute to settle himself, finally pulling his legs up and sitting cross-legged on the couch. "You're not going to get mad this time? Because it's kind of about the same stuff."

Kurt wanted to kick himself for making Blaine afraid to be himself around him. This was obviously not what he had been going for. "I promise. No judgment."

Blaine took a deep breath, settling his eyes somewhere over Kurt's shoulder. "Between the time I kissed Rachel at her party, and when she kissed me this afternoon, I guess I just let myself think about how it would be if things were different. If I were..." Blaine caught Kurt's eye and shrugged, helplessly.

"Normal," Kurt filled in.

"Yeah," Blaine said sadly. "I mean, I try so hard to be out and proud. Of course I know it's not abnormal to be gay. But so many people think so – they really, truly believe it. And haven't you ever had someone say to you 'I'm worried for you, your life is going to be hard, it would be so much _easier_ if you weren't gay.'"

Kurt nodded, wondering who it was in Blaine's life who had uttered this all too common sentiment. 

"So I just let myself imagine it a little bit. I mean, I think I knew it was a fantasy, that I really wasn't attracted to Rachel. One drunken kiss didn't change me. But I thought about how if I liked girls, everyone would be so much more relaxed at family dinners when I got asked questions about whether I had a girlfriend. I could go out on group dates with the Warblers and the girls from Crawford County Day, just like everyone else. I could take someone out to a movie without looking over my shoulder." Blaine paused, pressing his palms to his eyes. 

"You could flirt with a guy in class without worrying about what people would say behind your back,” Kurt said softly. “Get changed in the locker room without keeping your eyes glued to the floor.”

Blaine looked up at Kurt. “Exactly,” he said, his voice breaking. “It would be easier, you know? It just would. And I'm sorry if that makes me a bad role model, for thinking that. I couldn't help it."

Kurt put the bowl of popcorn on the floor and slid closer to Blaine. Without giving himself too much time to overthink it, he pulled him into a gentle hug. "Hey, it's okay." Kurt rubbed a hand awkwardly on Blaine's back, getting a whiff of his raspberry scented hair gel. He caught his breath when Blaine wrapped his arms around him too, holding tight and pressing his face into Kurt’s shoulder. "I think I'd rather have a friend that understands what it's like to be me, than a role model who doesn't."

"You would?" Blaine pulled back and looked at Kurt, his eyes wide and wet.

"Absolutely." Kurt gave Blaine a little squeeze and let him go, passing him a tissue from the box on the side table. Maybe Blaine covered it better than Kurt, but the constant battle to keep his show face on was clearly taking a toll on Blaine as well. Someday, they were going to get out of here, Kurt thought, to a place where it wouldn’t be so hard just to be themselves. In the meantime, Kurt was going to do a better job of letting Blaine know that they were in it together. "So, did I ever tell you about my John Mellencamp phase?"


End file.
